UK-based Nollywood actress Adenike Alajogun opens up about the trials, family interference, personal struggles, faith and forgiveness that have sustained her marriage to retired Nigeria Customs Service officer, Joseph Alajogun, as they prepare to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary on November 22, 2026.
As UK-based Nollywood actress Adenike Alajogun prepares to celebrate four decades of marriage with her husband, retired Nigeria Customs Service officer Joseph Alajogun, she reflects on a journey marked by love, sacrifice, perseverance, faith and difficult personal battles.
In this revealing interview with Gbolahan Adetayo, the actress recounts how their relationship began in August 1986, just three months before their wedding. She speaks candidly about the challenges that nearly drove her out of the marriage, the alleged interference of family members, the emotional struggles she endured and the role of prayer, patience and forgiveness in keeping the union intact.
Despite the difficulties, Adenike says their relationship has grown stronger over the years, describing their present love as reminiscent of that of newlyweds. She also offers advice to young couples preparing for marriage and expresses gratitude to her husband as they approach their remarkable milestone.
Congratulations on your forthcoming 40th wedding anniversary. Taking us back to the beginning, how did you meet your husband, Joseph Alajogun, and what was your first impression of him?
Thank you so much, Gbolahan. I really appreciate it.
I met my husband on August 23, 1986. To be honest, I had no intention of marrying him when we first met.
That day, I was travelling from Idiroko to Ikeja to visit my uncle. I was with my uncle's wife, and when we got to the Ajilete checkpoint, we met him in a Peugeot 504. Unknown to me, my uncle's wife and Joseph had already made some arrangements.
We got down to greet her fellow officers, and she introduced me to him, describing him as a nice man who had promised to take me to Ikeja and bring me back home. I agreed, and that was how our relationship began.
What was it about Joseph that eventually convinced you he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
Honestly, nothing convinced me at the beginning because he was not my type.
Whenever I travelled to Ibadan to visit my mother and grandmother, he would make sure he followed me. It was my grandmother who encouraged me, telling me that he was a gentleman and advising me not to judge him by his tribal marks.
However, something happened that I would rather keep private. That experience made me reconsider him. Gradually, love developed, and eventually, I made up my mind to choose him as my husband.
How long did you court before getting married, and what do you remember most vividly about those days?
This question is funny because our courtship lasted only three months.
When you got married, what were your expectations of marriage, and how closely did the reality match what you had imagined?
That question has a lot to it, and I would rather not say too much about it.
If not for the advice my late grandfather, Osue of Akure Kingdom, gave me, I would not have stayed in the marriage for even two months after the early challenges began.
Forty years of marriage is a remarkable milestone. Looking back on your journey with Joseph, what are the three most significant experiences that stand out in your memory?
The death of my children; the period when two of his siblings allegedly took control of our home for more than 30 years; and the feeling of being alone in the marriage, as though I was the only person making an effort to sustain the relationship.
Those experiences were very difficult for me.
Every marriage faces difficult seasons. What has been the most challenging period in your 40 years together, and how did you navigate it?
As I said earlier, the most difficult issue has been the involvement of his siblings.
I found their alleged behaviour deeply hurtful, and there were times when I felt completely helpless and useless in my own home. I even contemplated divorce.
My mother and grandmother, however, would not allow me to give up easily. There were moments when I became so overwhelmed that I contemplated suicide. I do not want to go into too many details, but those experiences were extremely painful.
I know the people I am referring to may read this interview, but I feel it is important to speak about what I went through.
Have there been moments when you and your husband strongly disagreed on important family or personal matters? How did you resolve your differences without allowing them to destroy your marriage?
We disagree a lot, and we quarrel frequently. Whether he is at fault or I am, I often find myself being the one to apologise and make efforts to resolve our differences.
At the beginning of our marriage, I discovered that involving outsiders in our disagreements often made matters worse. As a result, I decided to handle our problems privately.
My husband is a very stubborn man, and at the time, I sometimes felt he was not particularly concerned about whether the marriage survived. I believed his relationship with his siblings took priority over our home.
But, as the Yoruba saying goes, “Kì í ṣe ojú lasan.” There is more to a situation than what is immediately visible.
Many marriages struggle to survive even a few years, yet yours has lasted four decades. What, in your opinion, is the greatest secret behind its longevity?
Hmm, my dear, this is not an ordinary achievement. It has taken a great deal of prayer.
As people often say about those of us from Ondo State, we can be very stubborn, and we do not like being challenged. There were moments when I threatened to leave without taking any of my belongings. I would say, “All right, let us see who will become tired first.”
My dear, I have seen a lot. Yet, here I am today.
Beyond our stubbornness, I give credit to the help of Orunmila, my grandmother, my mother and my three brothers. I want to use this opportunity to thank them sincerely because they played important roles in helping me endure and keep going.
If the decision had been left entirely to me at some points, I would have walked away from the marriage a long time ago.
After 40 years, does love still feel the same as it did when you were newly married, or has it evolved into something deeper?
Yes! What Olódùmarè cannot do does not exist.
After many difficult years of struggling to keep the marriage together, we are now like newlyweds. The love between us continues to grow stronger.
I am grateful that, despite everything we have experienced, we have reached this stage of our lives together.
As a Nollywood actress with professional commitments, how have you balanced your career, family responsibilities and marriage?
Understanding is important in every marriage and relationship.
My husband taught me how to be independent. As an officer of the Nigeria Customs Service, he was frequently in the field, and I had to learn to manage things on my own. Over time, we both became accustomed to that lifestyle.
Your husband served in the Nigeria Customs Service before retiring. How did his career and its responsibilities affect your family life, particularly when his work demanded his time and absence from home?
Hmm, my husband is someone who loves his job very much. He would always tell me that his job came first.
However, I knew the kind of man I was marrying, so I learned to cooperate with him and understand the demands of his profession. I made a conscious effort not to allow his work to negatively affect our home.
What role have forgiveness, patience, compromise and sacrifice played in keeping your marriage strong?
Forgiveness, patience and compromise have been essential to the survival of our marriage.
As I said earlier, without these qualities, the marriage might have ended a long time ago. We have had to make sacrifices and learn to accommodate each other despite our differences.
As someone based in the United Kingdom and involved in Nollywood, what role have distance, travel and professional commitments played in your relationship?
Since I married him, I have lived the life of an officer's wife. Being married to a uniformed officer requires a woman to learn how to be independent and manage responsibilities even when her husband is away.
For me, distance has not been a major obstacle because I have been accustomed to that lifestyle for many years.
With marital difficulties and separations increasingly being discussed in society, what advice would you give young couples preparing for marriage, especially those who expect everything to be perfect from the beginning?
My advice to young people preparing for marriage is to understand the family they are marrying into. Sometimes, interference from family members contributes to problems that eventually lead to the breakdown of marriages.
I also advise young women to have jobs and be financially independent. They should learn patience and understand that marriage comes with challenges that may require time and effort to overcome.
Above all, prayer and submission are important. Couples must learn to understand each other, exercise patience and approach their challenges with wisdom.
As you prepare to celebrate this remarkable milestone on November 22, 2026, what would you like to say to Joseph Alajogun?
As we prepare to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary, I want to thank my husband for choosing me.
If not for Orunmila, I might not be alive today to celebrate this 40th anniversary. I am grateful for the journey that has brought us this far.
I admire his spirit and, especially, the respect he has always shown my family. He has never looked down on them, and that is one of the reasons my mother never gave up on our marriage despite the challenges we faced.
He is a very nice man, a good father and a wonderful grandfather.
As we approach this milestone, I am thankful that, despite the storms we have weathered, we are still together and our love continues to grow.
